Love him or hate him, Elon Musk is still the biggest chaos agent in tech.
He’s got rockets exploding, robotaxis rolling out, and a brain chip company flush with cash.
Some of it’s genius. Some of it’s marketing. All of it’s worth keeping an eye on.
Tesla’s Betting the Farm on Autonomy
Tesla’s ditching the cheap EV plan and going all in on robotaxis. First stop? Austin, where they’ll launch a self-driving fleet June 12. Think Model Ys and new “Cybercabs,” possibly driverless, maybe rentable like an Airbnb on wheels. If it works, it’s game-changing. If it flops, cue the lawsuits.
Prediction markets say there’s a 16% chance that the Tesla robotaxi public release will be postponed until 2026.
The Missing Model 2
That affordable $25K EV everyone was counting on? Quietly killed. Musk denied it publicly, but internal sources spilled to Reuters. Now the SEC might be sniffing around. Investors aren’t thrilled, and some Tesla fans are seeing cracks in the messiah act.
xAI Is Going Big—Really Big (maybe?)
Musk’s AI firm, xAI, just dropped Grok-3, a new model that’s supposedly great at math, science, and not being woke. Behind it is “The Colossus,” a GPU monster that could out-muscle OpenAI. Musk merged xAI with X (formerly Twitter), turning the social network into a weird hybrid of propaganda machine and AI sandbox.
X: Still a Glorified Group Chat, But With Bots Now
Encrypted messaging, audio, and video calls are now baked into XChat. Musk wants X to be your everything app. But so far, it’s mostly Grok telling users “based” jokes while advertisers slowly back away. The tech is impressive. The strategy? Jury’s still out.
SpaceX Is Gunning for Mars—Still
Starship keeps blowing up, but that hasn’t slowed him down. Musk says they’ll ramp up launches every few weeks. NASA still wants it for their 2026 moon mission. And next year, he’s planning to launch a humanoid robot—Optimus—into orbit. Because why not.
Starbase City: Musk’s Texas Frontier
He’s turning SpaceX HQ into a private spaceport called Starbase City. Locals in Boca Chica, Texas, are skeptical. Musk says it’ll be the launchpad to Mars. Either way, it’s getting built—permits approved, blueprints filed, flags planted.
Neuralink: Straight-Up Cyberpunk … as a Cyberpunk I’m Sure This Will Work Swimmingly
Fresh off a $650 million funding round, Neuralink now claims a $9B valuation. The goal? Brain chips to let you text with your thoughts. Musk says it’s the future of communication. Critics say it’s a Black Mirror episode waiting to happen.
The DOGE Days Are Over
Remember when Musk joined Trump’s “Department of Government Efficiency”? He’s out now, quietly. The move raised eyebrows across both tech and politics. It did little but stir up headlines and damage control.
The Perception Problem
Musk’s increasingly erratic politics, abrupt company pivots, and tendency to say one thing while doing another have investors nervous.
